Aaah, alcohol... The great outdoors, the Marlboro Man... Wait, that’s cigarettes. Bars, jukeboxes... Hold your liquor, hold your life: I could totally knock it back!
Beer or wine—I never ordered cocktails: too expensive, and they disappear too fast. Unless they were very strong and in a gorgeous setting. Oh, yeah, a Long Island iced tea in a fancy place… Alcohol is so fine, so classy…
It took me ages to grasp that I had a drinking problem. I knew I enjoyed it—uh, no, downed it— more than the majority of my social circle; specifically, I didn’t like to limit myself to one drink. What was the point? Plenty of people put the brakes on or switch to water when they get tipsy; as for me, a huge loudspeaker shouted in my ear, “Keep going! Don’t let the effects wear off!”
One more invisible suffering, along with family violence, anxiety, binge-eating disorder, and drug addiction.
Invisible, yet not nonexistent. Boozing alone sometimes, so nobody would bother me about my consumption. Oh! the bottle hidden behind the couch… my head spinning as I went to sleep… feeling nauseated at work the next day, well into the afternoon…
Invisible, because when you announce that you are quitting drinking, people kindly object, “No, you don’t have an alcohol problem! You’ve never behaved inappropriately. Are you really going to stop completely? Isn’t that a little extreme?”
“Um... when my partner slips off to the bathroom while we’re watching TV at night, I throw back my whiskey and pour myself another. My heart is pounding and I’m careful not to make any noise that might betray me. So yes, it’s a little extreme.”
Life without alcohol is much more pleasurable than I imagined. And much simpler: saying no to the first glass is easy. Saying no to the second… that’s another story.
photo © Rick Barrett